“Of 197 heads of state, only 22 are women. Another fact: Of the top 500 companies by revenues, only 21 are headed by women. In politics, women hold just 18% of congressional offices.”
I never paid attention to the fact that I was one of two young women on the pioneering team, on by the VC responsible for expanding the tent pegs of Groupon all over China back in 2011. I didn't think much about that reality, and the Managing Director loved my work, so I just kept rocking it. He called me an "energizer bunny" with his thick German accent, and would call me out in front of the others because I was hitting revenue targets, and the B-school interns and graduates weren't. It didn't bother me, being one of the few women on the leadership team until, one day, it started to matter. I found out I was getting paid less than half what they were, even though I was doing just as much, if not more. Maybe I was young, and I didn't know how to negotiate. I blamed myself and vowed never to make that mistake again. I won't even mention some of the sexist and ageist (?) comments I received, ones I probably would not have experienced if I was a man.
I joined another startup company after that, upped my compensation about 25% and was pretty satisfied for awhile. The founder commended me for all my amazing work and how I had helped turn the culture around. After a year, the CEO/Founder brought in his younger brother to come in and join my team and automatically made me his assistant. What? It didn't make any sense. I was loyal and gave a lot more than was required for the company, and his brother had zero experience in business. There was one woman who was a friend of the founder who had an advisory role, and she was very kind and encouraging, but once the brother came in, she ignored me and focused on his development. I was confused.
These are real experiences I had working in the startup world. Unfortunately, I have a lot more stories like it, and some really horrible ones dealing with men asking me to perform sexual dances and acts. And this isn't a male-bashing post: sometimes it was women who made the most inappropriate comments. We need to acknowledge it is still an (unhealthy) man's world, and I won't play a victim card or blame game here. I'm just stating the facts. Sure, we've made so much progress since the early 1900s, but we have a long way to go. It's my personal passion to see women empowered and step bravely into all that they can be, and not be limited by their gender or age. One day, I want to see my daughters honored properly for their contributions to society. I want to see my daughters unashamed and unafraid to ask for salaries and go for opportunities they deserve. We should be hopeful: the gap is closing, slowly but surely. Women are stepping up an paving the way for us to go further and higher. Let us raise the bar for our daughters and granddaughters. I can't wait for the day when men and women will work alongside each other and help one other succeed.
Here are some tips to bridge the gender gap:
1. Show up and show off. Women are more focused on group development, which is a really ethical and powerful leadership characteristic. However, at the expense of the group, we sometimes don't want to take ownership of our awesomeness. We need to take credit for our work.
2. Make the counter-offer, always. As you've seen from my personal experiences, and from the research showing a 80% pay gap between men and women, make sure you make a counter-offer, always. What's the worst they can say, "No, you can't have that"? Then if they won't offer you the salary you've asked for, you suddenly have bargaining chips to ask for a more flexible work schedule, or other benefits. Contact me if you need help with this - Seriously. It's one of my joys and I've made so many mistakes in this area, I'd love to offer you wisdom.
3. Talk openly about it. Instead of being angsty (been there, done that) or stinking up the culture of your organization, set up a meeting with your supervisor/team and spearhead representation in your company. Make sure women are speaking on panels and given opportunities to be mentored by senior leaders. Your voice matters, and you can make a difference, even if you feel like you're alone. And if you're discriminated against or someone makes sexual advances against you, speak up. You're not a tattletale, they just shouldn't have messed with you.
4. Be fully you. For whatever reason, a high-performing, achieving woman is often referred to as "aggressive", even by other women. I'm not saying to be rude, but embrace your ambition and feel free to be fully yourself at work. If there's things that make you uncomfortable, refer to #3.
5. Empower other women. Be a mentor. You might not be the expert in everything, but you have something to offer - share it! Help other women go further than you have ever gone. When you give, you'll gain more than you ever thought was possible.